Martha! Martha!…..Martha?


Martha, Martha!

Oh, Martha!  Your show can have such interesting moments and then there are ……those that aren’t!  Perhaps you should stop doing your show and never do 2 shows in a day again.  You become far too grumpy.  That is to say even grumpier than usual. :)  Your guests must be terribly frightened of you at times.  You look very tired.  Your makeup has been touched up too many times.  And most of all, stop trying to announce to the world,” that I, Martha know everything about everything and I will prove it to you.”  My word!  That’s annoying.  I have an idea.  At the beginning of each show, simply walk out and say,” I am Perfect and I know everything.”   That would take care of it.   Stop asking strange questions as you zone off during segments.  Let your guests actually speak.  Stop worrying if the counter is clean. 

 
 
On October 20th, Martha’s guest was Britta Riley of   Window Farms,    http://www.windowfarms.org/ ,  for people who want to garden

Britta on Martha's Show

but have no yard.  Check out this site for wonderful ideas and kits.    Britta brought in this Large Frame with the plants growing  on the constructed system as it would be in the garden window.   Britta stated this was what her garden looked like at home.  “Did you take out your window from your house and bring it here?”  says Martha, who apparently had zoned out, as Britta began speaking.   Yeah, Martha, I just unzipped my window, hailed a cab and rushed right over.  Duh!   This is just one of many zoned out moments for Martha.

Anyone besides me, thinks Martha should cut back on her air time?   Oh, Not likely since she practically owns the Hallmark Channel now.    My favorite moments are when Martha brings out her guest and lets them talk about their skill or craft, then good ol’ Martha corrects them or gets bossy.  Lovely!   She had a guest from Russia.  His family happened to own a distillery for Premium Russian Brand Vodka.  The really expensive Russian Vodka.  He brought  many bottles for dearest Martha.  And in turn, she kept interrupting to tell him about his own company.  Martha needs to drink more?  Ah, Less? 

As you know, Martha is a regular guest on the Today Show.  A while back Martha was displaying her baked goods and treats.  Matt Lauer had a bit of her tasty treats.  Martha yells at him.  “You weren’t supposed to eat that.  That was for my show later.  These are the ones for you to eat.”  Martha has no clue.    So, for the next Holiday Food Fest with Martha, Matt asks her first if he can taste the food.  “Of course you can.  I brought it for tasting.”  Matt reminds her of the previous episode.  Naturally in her mind that never happened.  Matt stayed his ground and kept saying, Yes you did.  You go, Matt.  Another thing!  Is Martha that poor, she brings food onto a show and allows no one to eat because she takes it back to her set?  OMG Martha!

Triwa Watch in Turquoise

Yesterday, was a killer show!  As she begins speaking of her upcoming guests, she abruptly turns to her “warm up guy” Joey and barks at him, “Who are you talking to?”  He jumps and responds “No one!”  Of course Martha argues with him.  Then!  Her guests are the 2 co-founders of  Triwa Watch Company in Stockholm, Sweden.  Sooooo.  A while back Martha went to Sweden, stayed in a fancy smancy place, The Lydmar Hotel and she was given a Triwa watch.  Now, Ms Martha asks the boys from Sweden, “why did you give me a watch at the Hotel?  Did you know I was coming?”   They did not give her the watch, the Hotel Shop sells them and will sometimes give them as gifts.  Martha immediately responds “Oh, The Hotel just gives them to their BEST customers!”  Well of course, Martha , the common folk would never get a watch like that.  These guys are bewildered at best.   Then the “pièce de résistance“.  She asks, “once you set it, it sorta stays.”   “Mine’s been keeping very good time since I got it.”  Really Martha!    “And it’s easy to change time if you need to?”  What?  Who asks this stuff?  Seriously Martha!  Time to let it go!  Unfortunately no one will tell you that you insulting to your guests every stinking day. 

1.  Martha asks Brendan Fraser…..”What’s a Cul de Sac?”

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