Martha! Martha!…..Martha?

Martha, Martha!

Oh, Martha!  Your show can have such interesting moments and then there are ……those that aren’t!  Perhaps you should stop doing your show and never do 2 shows in a day again.  You become far too grumpy.  That is to say even grumpier than usual. :)  Your guests must be terribly frightened of you at times.  You look very tired.  Your makeup has been touched up too many times.  And most of all, stop trying to announce to the world,” that I, Martha know everything about everything and I will prove it to you.”  My word!  That’s annoying.  I have an idea.  At the beginning of each show, simply walk out and say,” I am Perfect and I know everything.”   That would take care of it.   Stop asking strange questions as you zone off during segments.  Let your guests actually speak.  Stop worrying if the counter is clean. 

 
 
On October 20th, Martha’s guest was Britta Riley of   Window Farms,    http://www.windowfarms.org/ ,  for people who want to garden

Britta on Martha's Show

but have no yard.  Check out this site for wonderful ideas and kits.    Britta brought in this Large Frame with the plants growing  on the constructed system as it would be in the garden window.   Britta stated this was what her garden looked like at home.  “Did you take out your window from your house and bring it here?”  says Martha, who apparently had zoned out, as Britta began speaking.   Yeah, Martha, I just unzipped my window, hailed a cab and rushed right over.  Duh!   This is just one of many zoned out moments for Martha.

Anyone besides me, thinks Martha should cut back on her air time?   Oh, Not likely since she practically owns the Hallmark Channel now.    My favorite moments are when Martha brings out her guest and lets them talk about their skill or craft, then good ol’ Martha corrects them or gets bossy.  Lovely!   She had a guest from Russia.  His family happened to own a distillery for Premium Russian Brand Vodka.  The really expensive Russian Vodka.  He brought  many bottles for dearest Martha.  And in turn, she kept interrupting to tell him about his own company.  Martha needs to drink more?  Ah, Less? 

As you know, Martha is a regular guest on the Today Show.  A while back Martha was displaying her baked goods and treats.  Matt Lauer had a bit of her tasty treats.  Martha yells at him.  “You weren’t supposed to eat that.  That was for my show later.  These are the ones for you to eat.”  Martha has no clue.    So, for the next Holiday Food Fest with Martha, Matt asks her first if he can taste the food.  “Of course you can.  I brought it for tasting.”  Matt reminds her of the previous episode.  Naturally in her mind that never happened.  Matt stayed his ground and kept saying, Yes you did.  You go, Matt.  Another thing!  Is Martha that poor, she brings food onto a show and allows no one to eat because she takes it back to her set?  OMG Martha!

Triwa Watch in Turquoise

Yesterday, was a killer show!  As she begins speaking of her upcoming guests, she abruptly turns to her “warm up guy” Joey and barks at him, “Who are you talking to?”  He jumps and responds “No one!”  Of course Martha argues with him.  Then!  Her guests are the 2 co-founders of  Triwa Watch Company in Stockholm, Sweden.  Sooooo.  A while back Martha went to Sweden, stayed in a fancy smancy place, The Lydmar Hotel and she was given a Triwa watch.  Now, Ms Martha asks the boys from Sweden, “why did you give me a watch at the Hotel?  Did you know I was coming?”   They did not give her the watch, the Hotel Shop sells them and will sometimes give them as gifts.  Martha immediately responds “Oh, The Hotel just gives them to their BEST customers!”  Well of course, Martha , the common folk would never get a watch like that.  These guys are bewildered at best.   Then the “pièce de résistance“.  She asks, “once you set it, it sorta stays.”   “Mine’s been keeping very good time since I got it.”  Really Martha!    “And it’s easy to change time if you need to?”  What?  Who asks this stuff?  Seriously Martha!  Time to let it go!  Unfortunately no one will tell you that you insulting to your guests every stinking day. 

1.  Martha asks Brendan Fraser…..”What’s a Cul de Sac?”

Movie Monday! May God Help Us all…….

“I read the news today oh boy!”   The Beatles had it spot on.  Jackass is the #1 movie and that says sooooo  much about our country.   What!  Are we nuts?   I cannot for the life of me, understand how this could possibly happen.  And do not say escapism…..!   The appeal of this movie is beyond me.  OK!   Going to the movies is terribly expensive.  Tickets, Popcorn, Soda and candy if you have kids, oh my.   I love movies and I am a bit picky about which movies I see.   I had noticed for the past 2 weeks, Johnny Knoxville was pimping, I mean promoting  himself and his movie on every, I mean every TV show possible.  Not just late night TV. 

Jackass in 3-D

  Get this.  Johnny was even on Martha Stewart.  What?  Yeah, like he watches her on craft day!   “Oh, Martha , I loved your Squash Soup and the Pea Pesto was divine.”   Sure!    Martha Stewart and Johnny were carving pumpkins like  normal people.  Woooh!  Full body shiver on that!  Not only is this movie taking your hard-earned money, it is taking even more  than usual.  TA.. DAAAA!  It’s in glorious 3-D.  Ka-Ching!  Paying even more bucks  for stupidity and frightful behavior.  Would love to know how many at the theatre, were between the ages 12 and 18.   Our future leaders.  Should I be worried? 

Allow me to speak on 3-D  movies.  I have watched many 3-D movies with and many without my children.  I must say, overall I did not feel that the differences in the movie experience itself , was worth the up charge.  For a total of 2 to 3 minutes of special effects in an entire 2 hour movie.  Remember Jaws 3-D?   I’m just not sold on it yet.  I watched Avatar both ways.  Not a huge difference, it was still great!     Still, there is nothing like the experience of watching a movie on a gigantic screen with THX sound.  That is my favorite part of going to the movies.  As a young child, I had always walked to the theatre and would sit through 2 showings.   Not possible today.  Going over every scene in my mind, the wardrobe of both men and women, how cute the guys were and if the story was plausible.  Even then I thought I knew how to make the picture much better!  Just the physicality of being immersed in a great story is the draw of the Big Screen presentation.  I loved it!   One of my dream jobs would have been becoming a Movie Critic.  

Inception

My favorite movie not in 3-D is   INCEPTION.  WOW!  This movie did not need anything else to set your mind reeling.  It was a tangled story and believe me it was thoroughly enjoyable.  Action, adventure, ensemble cast.   This was my favorite movie of the year.  Inception will be out on DVD on December 7th. 

The Town     If you can catch this flick before it goes away, please do.  Everyone who saw this movie really liked it.  Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner,  Jon Hamm.   

Up Coming Movies: 

SKYLINE      Be careful who you invite to visit  earth.  They just might come.   Whether you like it or not.  And you know how  Family Get- Togethers can be!     

DUE DATE        is in the vein of  The Hangover, but not as vulgar.  It is a road movie concerning a soon-to-be father (played by Robert Downey Jr.) and his cross-country trip to make it back in time for his baby’s birth — with the only roadblock being the dubious passenger (Galifianakis) who’s along for the ride.    Should be very, very funny!  Robert Downey Jr.  Nuff said.

The HANGOVER

I cannot end without giving special mention to the movie    The HANGOVER.   No way was I going to see this movie.  You know, another Men behaving badly movie with the usual scantily clad women and more crude language then necessary.  Well, I got over that!  I watched it at home and instantly became unglued.  Not easily done for me.  OMG!  The crude language is a bit much as well, but I got over that as well.   The over the top script was so bad, I felt guilty for laughing.  Thank goodness for rewind on the DVD player.  I never missed a scene.   This is sooo not the type of movie I ever watch, there is just something……   I put the movie in when more bad news seems to find me.  My friend and I exchange movie lines from The Hangover just to get us through the week.   I must pray for forgiveness

now!

And Then…..The Holiday Movies are coming, The Holiday Movies are coming!